This Can’t Be Paris Because I Don’t Hear Any Damn Accordions
Everybody knows that Paris and accordion music go together like baguettes and butter, cheese and wine, waiters and rudeness.
Comedy Writing
Are You Starring in a Horror Movie or Sharing a House with Small Children?
Someone or something begins to rattle the door back and forth as if trying to force it open. Suddenly, it stops.
To the Person Who Gave My Toddler a Noisy Toy for Her Birthday
Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
Signs You Are Watching an “Accurate” Movie About the Middle Ages
There is dirt everywhere, all the time. At no point is anybody completely clean (not even the rich people).
10 Fake Phone Call Responses You Can Use to Leave Early like an Action Hero
Before the tension in the air makes someone scream, say quietly, "I could tell you, but then—well, you know…"