Jokes
We’re thinking Telenovela if it’s a girl, True Crime if it’s a boy.
Believe it or not, the modern word “wedding” actually derives from the common Old English phrase “we did a thing.”
I don’t mean to get political, but I love a good party.
I’m so into shopping local these days I’m dating someone from my hometown.
*Sees empty skyscraper* I can fix him.
It’s bonkers that some cult classics have smaller followings than some classic cults.
If time travel isn’t possible, then how on God’s green earth do you explain Colonial Williamsburg?
Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. Idle feet are the devil’s kink.
Stop begging the question. Maybe just ask it nicely?
I always forget that too much socializing gives me the meet sweats.
It feels right that we use nuggets as a unit of measurement for the three most important things in life: gold, wisdom, and breaded chicken.
If your joke kills, does that make you guilty of man’s-laughter?
It’s pretty crazy that the writer of “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” knew another guy with the exact same name.
Two’s company, three’s a crowd, and four’s just enough to get my cult off the ground.