The New Facebook Parent Control Panel
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Mike Jungman is a writer, comedian, and lawyer. His writing has appeared on McSweeney’s, Funny or Die, Reductress, and other sites around the web. He has written sketch comedy shows performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and the People’s Improv Theater. He lives in New Jersey with his wife, kids, and terrible French Bulldog, Gnocchi.
For verification purposes, please tag a public post that was clearly intended to be an embarrassing private message to you from that parent.
HUNGER: They will want to eat something blue, but not blueberries. Blue. JOY: You managed to find food that is their favorite color!
There isn't a law on the books or rule of decorum that will get us to budge. Civilization has no hold over us this deep in the crowd.
Yes, to the gentleman in the back who just loudly questioned if Bernie is really dead, I assure you he is. This is his funeral. I’m sorry.