Mike Bellinger | Points in Case

Mike Bellinger England

Currently crying into my cornflakes No-one likes me, and I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends because no-one likes me, and no-one likes me because I don't have any friends. No-one likes me because why would you want to be associated with someone that doesn't have any friends? In short; I don't have any friends because no-one likes me. I am looking for friendship and for some people to like me. Will accept any kind of ego validation to make me feel better about myself.

Comedy Writing

When You Regret 95% of Everything You Have Ever Said

I don’t know why I'm so plagued by regrets from my vocal history. It seems dreadfully unfair, and I'm not sure what I've done to deserve these demons.

by Mike Bellinger
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May 13, 2015

I’ll (Probably) Never Be a Professional Wrestler

When I was 14, I WAS a wrestling superstar. I was “Blade” in my own wrestling federation, FWC. But I'm 27 now, and let's face it, I'll probably never wear a gold belt.

by Mike Bellinger
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February 11, 2015

Court’s a Stupid Name Anyway

What sort of name is Court anyway? I mean, do ruffians play that uncouth game of basketball on you? Do they? I mean come on, that's a stupid name.

by Mike Bellinger
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December 4, 2014

Hey You, Give Me a Job

I deserve a job. I'll take literally any job. Although I might be abusing the already abused word "literally" there, because what I mean is "not just ANY job."

by Mike Bellinger
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September 24, 2014

I Put the Fear of God into My Dog

I don't just look at my dog with fury because that would be cliché; rather, I tend to give her a sad, betrayed look, with a hint of intense bloody vengeance.

by Mike Bellinger
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July 29, 2014

The Day I Turned Your Mom Upside Down

"Your mom" has always been a fairly standard insult, but when it's consistently leveled at you by the cool kids in middle school, it's time to shake up the game.

by Mike Bellinger
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May 20, 2014