Ten Grapes I Ate Anyway
Grape that went under the refrigerator: I swear it bounced off my knee and shot directly under the fridge.
Comedy Writing
‘Twas the Flight Before Christmas
My seat had no window, I'd wasted my cash / on a seat in the middle by a guy with a rash
I’ve Been a Coward This Whole Movie, So It’s Time to Stupidly Do Something Brave and Die
With five minutes left in the movie, I am about to undergo a radical psychological transformation and become brave.
I Got Dumped for Having No Personality Even Though She Hadn’t Read All My T-Shirts
And what about that day I wore my ORGASM DONOR t-shirt and kept asking everyone in her family if they wanted to find out if they were a match?