I Give In: I Would like to Purchase Some of Your Incredible Essential Oils
I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.
Comedy Writing
The True and Indisputable Meaning of Christmas
Remember the true meaning of the holiday: Getting some $15 shit from Target and being done with it.
Heaven Be the Cross-Section of a Ship
There is one sliver of happiness, and it can be discovered only in the pages of children’s books depicting the cross-sections of ships, old and new.
A Message from the Scientists Who Created the Gigantic Fire-Breathing Chicken Monster
And is it our fault the Giant Fire-Breathing Chicken-Killing Ray Gun didn’t work at all, and only made the giant chicken more powerful than ever?
It’s Probably No Big Deal That Every Single Woman in My Life is Exclusively Watching Shows About Murder
Maybe if there was an anger rising in women from an ongoing parade of injustices being carried out against them, then I’d be a little on edge.