The Religious Dream Team Starting Lineup
Like the 1992 Men's Olympic Basketball Team, if we take the best parts of every religion to form one "Dream Team Religion," I'd actually consider being a part of that.
Comedy Writing
A Stoner’s Translation to the Benefits of Vaporizing
I get asked a lot why I prefer using a vaporizer, because I'm high as fuck all the time, and people assume there must some solid stoner logic.
The Dubious Legacy of Super Mario
Some would say Mario is more influential than Jesus and Paul McCartney combined. The Italian plumber who looks suspiciously Mexican has gone thru many phases.
I’ll Have a Whiskey on the Breasts, Please
Are you into rum, whiskey, or vodka? What about after it's been poured over the breasts of super models? You don't have any more questions, right?
Your Son Deserves a Better Name
There's an epidemic going around: parents think they can name their boys any shitty ambiguously-gendered thing they want just because they made them.
Women Should Not Have Ab Definition
I'm all for a woman with a flat stomach, but this new trend of women wanting to have defined abs is unnatural, and not at all sexy.