5 Reasons It’s Your Parents’ Fault You’re Fat
If the conditions that make you fat or skinny, exercise-addict or couch-potato, can be traced back to conditions out of your control, then who's fault is it? Your parents'.
Comedy Writing
5 Ways the Catholic Church Can Survive the 21st Century
Here is how the Catholic Church can ensure that it makes it through the little hiccup that has been the 21st century.
The 9 to 5 Theses
We realize that we work at jobs we are underqualified for where the only qualifications are being white and MS Word skills. Here's how we keep those jobs.
5 Reasons Rich People Really Do Kind of Suck
Rich people are fucking assholes, and I have scientific proof. Like, stuff people with doctorate degrees came up with, not Bentley road rage reports.
Nancy Grace: “The Pistorius Testimony Has Poor Footing”
Famed legal expert, Nancy Grace, is skeptical about the testimony of Pistorius. Here is the transcript from Pete Harding's banter with the author and legal pundit.
Highly Unconventional Super Bowl XLVII Drinking Game
What you need: one drink per person, one hurricane cocktail for every table, and residual enthusiasm from when you initially learned Tom Brady wasn't in the Super Bowl.
How to Know If Your Neighbor is a Psychopath
Have you ever wanted to burn your neighbor's fucking house down? Here's how you can tell if you have to worry about one of them doing the same.
4 People the Catholic Church Tells You Should Be Excommunicated
Throughout history, the Catholic Church has been burdened with the daunting task of becoming the world’s buffer against our primitive savagery, the collapse of morality, and non-whites from smiling in public.
50 Things I’ve Learned from the Election Year (With Links)
The difference between Rick Santorum and my dog is that one humps random guys' legs and the other is a cocker spaniel named Betsy.
The 10 Spookiest Scenes in Spoooky Movie History
Sometimes a movie's terror creates a vortex of fear that spins you until the force sends you flying off into the depths of the cold, lifeless abyss. Fuckin' shit's scary.
Warped Sex Education: Admiration for Abstinence
The extent of my sex ed at private school was this: "You have this dangly thing between your legs. You pee out of it. Girls don't have that dangly thing. Sex feels good."
Getting Laid with Science
Fortunately, we now know what cues women are unconsciously driven by, as well as some of the situations that are more conducive to the release of your inner Bonaduce.