Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO

Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On weekday evenings, Nate can typically be found at any one of a number of North Tampa bars. On weekends, he typically cannot be found. When not drinking, fishing, watching sports, or having sex, Nathan likes to read, play the harmonica, and show up for work. Throughout the course of his life, he has been arrested six times because, as his father has often said, "the kid is fucking stupid."

Comedy Writing

The Snippets Hate PHP

<p>Craig:  You know what baffles me about torture?</p><p>Dave:  Let me think...  Nope.  Not a clue.  </p><p>Craig:  It's that they can find people who are ready and willing to torture another man.  The concept just doesn't seem appealing to me.  </p>

Chubby Check Out Girl and Fixed Incomes

People need to calm the hell down.  <p>A few weeks ago, I was at the grocery market waiting in line to purchase groceries (because stealing is way wrong) when the old woman in front of me in line decided to complain about the high prices of her groceries to the check out girl.  Now, the check out girl probably makes eight bucks an hour if she's lucky, most likely attends school and has probably

2008 Can Fuck Off

You've all been asking for it.  Scratch that.  A few of you have mentioned it.  Okay, I don't know exactly how many of you there are so I don't know what constitutes a few (I stopped worrying about my readership around the birth of PIC 2.0 because I am easily perplexed by change).  But I've received a few emails about this.  And well, basically, I just want to say that nothing good came out o

Piano in the Woods or Nose in a Bush

<p>If I could sum up everything that is wrong with the American people in one brief CNN article, I would have to pick <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/11/23/massachusetts.piano/index.html">this one</a>.  Apparently, some lady was walking her dog in the middle of the woods when she came upon a perfectly operational and in-tune piano.  Said lady called the police who came and took the piano int

Homage and Rage

Watch as a man criticizes the government for mistakes and then comes dramatically to the utterly wrong conclusion.  This is an amazing testament to the idiocy of mankind and I'm just happy that I was present to witness its grace, its awesomeness, and its complete and total wrongness.  <p>I give you, acclaimed and capable writer, Mitch Albom and his column entitled, "<a href="http://www.free

Hoping for More of the Same

<p>Some mulatto dude was recently put in charge of speaking for the American people.  They do this kind of thing every four years or so.  I don't know the details exactly because I stopped watching the news after Local Channel 9's weather girl Sandra Bigenbosom was fired for reasons unrelated to her chest and then the USA Network picked up <em>NCIS </em>and started replaying all the really good

Picking them Games in a Fog

  <p>There's no reason to write when you've been drinking as much as I have today.  But I have a picks obligation.  So I'm honoring it.  This post will suck.  You have my very drunken word.  </p><p>Home teams in CAPS</p><p>FALCONS (-1) OVER Saints </p>

Behind Bars that Don’t Serve Beer

<p>Like many of America's most profitable industries, prison has gotten a lot less fun over the years.  Despite what the movies may tell you, there is no smoking in prison.  A lot of criminals I know try to avoid jail because of that fact alone.  Three years away from the wife and kids?  Excellent.  No Marlboros?  Fuck that.  </p>

Picking Them Games like the President Don’t Matter

I'm not voting this year.  This is the first election year I have avoided voting.  I have my reasons and I cannot be talked out of them.  I don't want to delve into politics here because the American people, despite the fact that they have no idea what the hell is going on in the socio-political climate, nevertheless get all freaking worked up when you talk about politics.  <p>It's the same wi

Picking Them Games: Nickname Edition

Scotty the Handicapper has taken it on himself recently to give me nicknames (yes, plural) because he said that I go through four stages of me when I drink.  Here are those stages: <p><strong>Normal Nate (or Sober Nate)</strong></p><p>Apparently, this guy is really polite and nice and generally caring and understanding.  Quite frankly, he's probably the reason I drink in the first place.  </p>

The Making of a Classic

<p>I don't care whether you're talking about a movie, a band or a TV show, the best ones remain the best ones because they showcase a truckload of talent that creates an enjoyable experience and, in many different ways, you can still make fun of them.  Think of Pearl Jam.  Great band, great music, great messages...

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