Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO

Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On weekday evenings, Nate can typically be found at any one of a number of North Tampa bars. On weekends, he typically cannot be found. When not drinking, fishing, watching sports, or having sex, Nathan likes to read, play the harmonica, and show up for work. Throughout the course of his life, he has been arrested six times because, as his father has often said, "the kid is fucking stupid."

Comedy Writing

I Think You’re Funny

I think you're funny when you crinkle your nose into a tiny wrinkled flesh button, roll down the window and ask, 'Did you fart?'

Self Motivating and Gratifying Self

Since April 1st of this year, I have been working from home, making and losing money in the volatility and insanity that is the global equity markets. It's a blast, thanks for asking.

Memorial Day Prayer

Memorial Day is tomorrow.  In many ways this subtle holiday is a day of thanks, thanks to all the soldiers that fought and died in wars representing this once great nation.  In a way, that can seem sad.  <p>But to heck with sad.  We've no time for sad.  This is America and we got stuff to do.  </p>

My Friend Trouble

<p><strong>Lara</strong>:  How you been?<br /><strong>Me</strong>:  Staying out of trouble.<br /><strong>Lara</strong>:  Trouble rides shotgun when you drive.  <br /><strong>Me</strong>:  Okay, so I got into a little trouble... <br /> 

May First

<p><img class="photo" src="/files/u2/bin-laden-celebration.jpg" alt="People waving an American flag at night following the death of Osama bin Laden" width="200" height="148" />Osama Bin Laden <br />And his wife<br />Had children <br />Like many of us, I suppose. </p><p>Osama Bin Laden <br />Did his research <br />And knew a lot<br />That the U.S. needed to know. </p>

Shut Up, Nate

<p>Normal?<br />Well I believe that normal is a state of being plain<br />Which is generally frowned upon<br />Within the higher ranks.  </p><p>"This world has a way <br />Of knowing what you mean.  <br />I on the other hand,<br />Don't understand a thing you're saying man."</p>

The Papers to Prove It

<p>People get married out of fear sometimes<br />Because they cannot afford the cost <br />Of this project known as life. <br /><br />Problems compound. <br />Formulas espouse. <br />Theories are put forth<br />And moved backwards<br />Like pieces on a chessboard. <br /><br />And in the name of the bride and groom<br />We ask that you please visit their registry

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