Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO

Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On weekday evenings, Nate can typically be found at any one of a number of North Tampa bars. On weekends, he typically cannot be found. When not drinking, fishing, watching sports, or having sex, Nathan likes to read, play the harmonica, and show up for work. Throughout the course of his life, he has been arrested six times because, as his father has often said, "the kid is fucking stupid."

Comedy Writing

See

<p>Love<br />Or hate<br />Each other<br />Just long enough to <br />Feel<br />Something;<br />Anything more than the soft carpet <br />Of the living room<br />And the hard tile<br />Of the dining room<br />And the sugary wonder of the specialty drinks<br />And anyway here <br />We have a nice <br />View of the sea.</p><p>See.</p>

You Know (at Berkeley)

You don't see the sunshine <p>On cloudy</p><p>Rainy</p><p>Days.  </p><p>But you knew that.  </p><p>And you know you knew that.  </p><p> </p><p>The board of directors,</p><p>The staff parish,</p><p>The county jailers,</p><p>They cannot change the weather.  </p><p> </p><p>(They can, however, buy umbrellas and quit complaining.)</p><p> </p><p>God doesn't even have enough money </p>

X’s in My Soul

This one goes out to Generation X, the wandering nomads who ask for no respect, get no credit and offer no blame. It's how we were raised.

Handshake

Under the following conditions you go first <p>And you are the one</p><p>And the only</p><p>But only under the following conditions:</p><p> </p><p>Clean the dirty water </p><p>Play music</p><p>Maybe even join a band</p><p>Or better yet become one.  </p><p> </p><p>And never forget that your country spent</p><p>A great deal of time and money </p><p>Raising you.  </p><p> </p>

The Snippets Introduce Joshua

<p>Some raging crazy kid: Excuse me sir. Could I please have a cigarette from you? <br />Me: Sure. A cigarette, a beer, a mineral water, my television. Anything that will calm you the fuck down. <br /><br />Me: Can I ask you a personal question?<br />Crazy Kid: Sure. <br />Me: What's your name?<br />Kid: Josh. <br /><br />Me: I can't believe you called the cops.

Thanks Fucker

<p>Today I play on my own</p><p>In the sunshine</p><p>Me and my smart-phone.  </p><p> </p><p>Today I will win the future.  </p><p>And lose your ass.  </p><p> </p><p>We make and we take</p><p>And you shut up. </p><p> </p><p>The thunder of the natural wonder is on point, Tip. </p><p> </p><p>And you shut up.  </p><p> </p><p>And thanks.  </p>

The Decider

  <p>The patient hand</p><p>The violent fist</p><p>The green thumb</p><p>The loving smack to the head</p><p>Are all one</p><p>And the same.</p><p> </p><p>At times the warrior is a child.  </p><p>At times the genius cannot drive.   </p><p>They take from us and make us</p><p>What they need</p><p>To stay alive.  </p><p> </p><p>But that's too fucking bad.  </p>

The Grow Goal

Grow.  <p>No one is unassisted.  </p><p>Goal!</p><p> </p><p>There is no end of the day.  </p><p>Just morning.  </p><p>The new system will work.  </p><p> </p><p>It has to.  </p><p> </p><p>The right people will run it.  </p><p>The best people will work it.  </p><p> </p><p>Don't worry Mom.  </p><p>I won't get so much as a scratch.  </p>

Scribe (Thanks Google)

The first and the second and the third and the fourth and the forever <p>That we call the ends of the earth </p><p>Is just a place where I hope they serve beer.  </p><p> </p><p>The sun is shining and there is no limit.  </p><p>People will do what they can to not be sober.  </p><p>In this country, they will do it harder.  </p><p> </p>

Thanks to the Boomers

Thanks Boomers, for making me the man I am today. Really and truly: I could not have done it without you. As much as you might have hated me along the way.

Triumph of the Millienials

Millenials: Never forget that you are the hardest working, most cooperative, and like-minded generation since the generation that fought and won World War II. That is your strength.

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