Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO

Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On weekday evenings, Nate can typically be found at any one of a number of North Tampa bars. On weekends, he typically cannot be found. When not drinking, fishing, watching sports, or having sex, Nathan likes to read, play the harmonica, and show up for work. Throughout the course of his life, he has been arrested six times because, as his father has often said, "the kid is fucking stupid."

Comedy Writing

Can I Crash at Your Place?

I hate rats and I hate snitches. <br /><br />Playground rules separate the women from the men, the girls from the boys. I hate rats. People who snitch on other people for their own personal gains, or worse yet, to get themselves out of trouble, are the worst fucking people on planet Earth. I should know, I work with those bitches. <br />

Happy Hour Special

The door swings open. And in walks your future. <br /><br />It's standing there. A big, gnarly beast. Like a dead bug seven feet tall and angry. You get up from the couch and try to explain. Your future hits you with a brick paw, knocking your teeth out. <br /><br />You smile and say, "I'm not writing, today."<br /><br />Your future frowns and asks, "Did you ever?"<br />

Observations Like a Busy Work Day

You know you're just a little crazy when you have sex with a girl on her period and the resulting blood makes you crave a medium rare steak. At least, that's what I hear. <br />

The Snippets Will See Luke Later

Luke: What's the gayest movie you ever liked?<br />Me: <em>Good Will Hunting</em>.<br />Luke: Fag.<br /><br />Royce: So what's a beautiful, young girl like you doing with the likes of Nate?<br />Rochelle: Pity.<br />Carl: Ahh, now I get it.<br />Me: I love you guys, you know that? Y'all are the best.<br /><br />Luke: What's the gayest movie you ever liked?

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