Ten Things that Suck about Sleeping Around
Ten Things that Suck about Sleeping Around
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On weekday evenings, Nate can typically be found at any one of a number of North Tampa bars. On weekends, he typically cannot be found. When not drinking, fishing, watching sports, or having sex, Nathan likes to read, play the harmonica, and show up for work. Throughout the course of his life, he has been arrested six times because, as his father has often said, "the kid is fucking stupid."
Ten Things that Suck about Sleeping Around
If you haven't been in a gym in three years, and you're pale as a ghost because you've been spending your weekend afternoons in an air-conditioned apartment while writing a book, and a beautiful little girl invites you to fuck her in a bathroom, do not (and I cannot stress this enough) look at yourself in the mirror while doing so. Seriously, all eyes on her. Trust me.
Tonight, I'm going to a movie. <br /><br />When I announced this to a coworker, she responded, "Wow, are you in a dry spell or something? It's not like you to work so hard to get laid."<br /><br />To which I responded, "Actually, I'm going by myself. I just bought a ticket to <em>Clerks 2</em>."<br /><br />"Oh," she said. "That's cool."<br />
Today, just a few minutes ago, as I was driving home from work, I hit a small traffic jam (about ten cars). As I sat and pondered the reason for this miniature jam, I saw a chicken walk out between the two rows of cars. That's right, the flow of traffic in North Tampa was temporarily halted because a chicken crossed the road. I don't even have a joke here.
I just had a meeting with my boss. From that meeting, we developed the following new office rule (the sixth since I started): there is to be no sleeping in the office during business hours. This rule was put in place because, last week, I slept four hours in the break room after a particularly wild night of drinking. <br />
While visiting my friend and former roommate, Doug, in New York a few weeks back, I stopped by his ex-girlfriend's wedding reception because I was invited. I had spoken to Doug's ex about six times since we graduated college. Once every three years or so she sends a Christmas card to my mom's house, which always makes for some variation of the following phone conversation:<br />