Captain of the Sea
<p>Well kids, if you're wondering what I've been up to, here's it. It's kinda long, but I'm really proud of it. </p><p> Lemme know what ya think. </p>
Comedy Writing
Movie: Dr. Triangle
<p>Alright kids. This is the first movie I've made in about a year. I had a lot of free time. Either way, sound is crucial for this...unless you really like shapes...so please, turn up your speakers or plug in your earphones. This has been recorded at a very...unfortunate...volume.</p><p>Also, it's very, very dry humor. If you don't like that, then you won't like this. Uh-huh.<br /> </p>
Internet Biography: Leeroy Jenkins
<p>There are two things you're doing right now, reader. Aside from stroking your clit...Either, one, you have read the title and asked aloud: Who the FUCK is Leeroy Jenkins and why should I give a FLYING SHIT ABOUT HIM?</p><p>(Careful now, your mother is in the next room!) </p>
The Rock God Proclaimeth: Led Zeppelin, “Black Dog”
<p><img src="/files/u10/BLACK_WOLF_.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="325" /></p><p>This is my dog. </p><p>His name is Robert Plant.</p><p>...</p><p>Believe me?</p><p>...</p><p>If you don't comment, I'll take his rock-muzzle off.....</p>
Spoon of Opium
Levi sleepily thought of his enemy’s name—Tomcat, Tomcat, Tomcat. He felt foolish for letting his sister dance with the old man.
The Rock God Proclaimeth: ZZ Top, “Legs”
<p class="MsoNormal"><img src="/files/u10/039_31619_ZZ-Top-Posters.jpg" alt="" width="325" height="259" /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt">I'm going to go out on a limb and figure most of you don't know ZZ Top, given the fact that most of you rather click AC/DC Ringtone Ads than comment on my blog (fuck you, seriously).</span></p>
The Rock God Proclaimeth: AC/DC, “Back in Black”
<img src="/files/u10/acdc.gif" alt="" width="324" height="323" /><p>This is the first in a long, long series of articles explaining the true meaning behind awesome rock anthems' lyrics, inspirations and otherwise.
Tomcat’s Big Idea
<p>This story was edited. Now it's much better. You'll see it up on Tuesday in the columns section.</p><p>YEAH! </p>
I Wrote Three Little Stories in an Hour – Tell Me What You Think of Each!
<p>In the last hour, I was given the challenge by a writing buddy of mine to write three stories. Each was supposed to be 200 words, 400 words and 600 words exactly. They are actually 250 words, 400 words and 650 words exactly (less the title, of fucking course). If you don't like that, you can lick my literary nuts.
My Favorite Quotes
These are my favorite quotes...someday I hope to be just as literary, snotty and bitchy as they are remembered...combined. Here we go...
NG Hatfield’s PIC 2.Tour
Points in Case writer NG Hatfield takes you on a brief tour of the main PIC Staff members, including dirty behind the scenes secrets.
The Morning of the Slaughter
At our shared mirror, my roommate lathered his face with a bar of white, overly-fragrant soap in the purplish dark of early morning. I saw the gunk sliming through his hands and then falling into our sink. I closed my eyes then looked to him again. He was sharpening our public straight-blade on a leather strop, then running it over his neck.