I Opened This Neighborhood Florist Shop Because I’m Thirsty for Power and You, My Employees, Better Be, Too
Here at Barb’s, we think big. We think brutal. We think volume-discounted wholesale gladiola bulbs.
Nikki is an essay and humor writer. Find her work in McSweeney's, The Belladonna, Little Old Lady Comedy, Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, and the Washington Post. Follow her @nikkicampo on Twitter.
Here at Barb’s, we think big. We think brutal. We think volume-discounted wholesale gladiola bulbs.
Attain Zen. Zen means knowing if you are smiling and crying at once, you are making a rainbow.
I didn’t mean to beat my chest and roar, causing that woman to jerk the wheel of her motorized cart into the end cap of pumpkin spice whipped topping.
Oh-kaay. This hurts a little. The spring-bound polypropylene surface feels more solid upon impact than I expected.