Noah Cohen-Greenberg | Page 2

Noah just loves to spoil his dinner, doesn't he.

Comedy Writing

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The clients’ voicemails were mistakenly deleted, as the functions of the different button thingies had been forgotten.

The “Calling Your Mom a Bitch” Filibuster – If 41 senators do this at least one time, the vote is delayed for a fortnight.

Now, I know how you feel about your mother giving you tips, but honey: he has a lifetime salary and great health insurance.

Empty your pockets. Phones out, now! And you know what? While you’re doing that, why don’t you all sing Happy Birthday?

Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.

Folks have been sending us questions about the meteor explosion, and we’re going to give you all the information you’ll need to get through this.

Joe takes me out onto the balcony, places his strong, soft hands on my cheeks and whispers softly in my ear, “Amtrak.” We make love under the moon.

Now, I should say that I don’t speak Spanish, but I do speak un poquito Spanish. Is that bueno with everyone?

Support us at The Lincoln Project and our quest to return America to her former glory: killing poor people but with good manners.

A well-planned curriculum / Disposable teachers who can be replaced just in case / Pencils / 100% renewable eco-powered Mercedes buses