I just went to check my Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!1111 mail and noticed that some spam got through into my inbox. While this is not unusual, the thing that was unusual is that these messages did not even try to cover themselves up or get past the spam filter. Blatant spam at its worst:<br /><br />
Yo momma so dumb she doesn't know how to use the internet...but you could at least call her once in a while.<br /><br />Yo momma so lonely sometimes she almost cries, but then your father comes into the room, and he would make fun of your mother if she was crying and that would just make her want to cry more but then he would yell "STOP CRYING WOMAN" and she would say "I'm trying!"<br />
Charlton Heston died this weekend and I went FOUR FULL FUCKING DAYS without knowing this. Usually I'm on top of this stuff. I knew Heath Ledger was going to die seventeen days before he actually did.<br />
<strong>Sexually Transmitted Disease</strong><br />One of my worst nightmares is waking up in the morning, looking over to see who I slept with, and then seeing someone lying down in my bed in a wheelchair. It's my worst nightmare not because I'm disable-ist, but because after looking at the cripple, I look back at my own legs, and<strong><em> I'M</em></strong> in a wheelchair.<br /><br />
Girl: "Me and my boyfriend came to the painful conclusion that we're going to have to get an abortion. But please don't tell anyone...I've only told you."<br /><br />Guy: "Yeah, whatever...what are you gonna do with the fetus afterwards?"<br /><br />Girl: "What?"<br /><br />Guy: "What are you going to do with the fetus, are you going to need it?"<br />
<ul><li>What would you put down as 'experience' on your resume when you're applying to be a porn actor? Would you put down all of your previous jobs, or would you go into detail about all the times you've had sex?<br /><br />... (I did the latter.)<br /><br /></li><li>Don't trust a doctor who got his doctorate degree from one of those internet colleges.<br />
When someone is fired from the Blue Man Group, do they just become the Blue Man Person? And what kind of job can you get after that?
Things You Will Never Hear
I made this prank call to a weight loss pill company called Lipozene! Maybe you've seen their commercials. It's a company that advertises late at night on television. Their pill, as they say, is for people who need to lose A TON of weight, it is not for the moderate dieter. I, coming in at 120 pounds and 5'10", fit in this category, right?<br />
John McCain was in prison once. Yes, he was a prisoner of war while he was serving our country. Do you want a criminal running our country?
Crying yourself to sleep is an art form perfected only by those deeply emotionally scarred. Those who perfect it probably aren't proud of this feat, either.
Comedy Buffet