Hey, I won't be mad at ya if you peruse my comedy a bit. -Saying what you think you don't think. Paul Frank has written more comedy than your grandma's had periods. Paul Frank is a mystical creature like leprochauns, midgets, and MILFs. He lives solely on a diet of vodka, Hot Pockets, and milk-less cereal.

Comedy Writing

A Zit Waits ‘Til You’re 12

<p>Michael Jackson, the biggest gift to late night talk show hosts and comedians everywhere, died after the world's shortest coma yesterday. But you already knew that because, I swear to God, celebrities are "tweeting" their condolences. What? What is this world coming to? Jesus Fuck.</p><p>Michael Jackson died doing what he loved best: dying.</p>

Wal-Mart TV

<div align="left">The other day, I went to my local Wal-Mart Supercenter, and I realized something: walking through a Wal-Mart is more entertaining than television. Give me Aisle 8 of Wal-Mart anyday over Lost. 90% of the people you see at Wal-Mart look like they haven't left their house/trailer for weeks (where they were busy watching Judge Judy knockoff shows and not showering).

Hip Restructuring

<p>Hello, my name is Dr. Krishna Charanjit, M.D. You might know me as <em>the </em>premier hip restructure specialist in the world.

Karma’s Gonna Get You

<p>Karma's going to get you. One day Karma's gonna get you. But you're a tough motherfucker, and it's not going to be easy for Karma. </p>

Friends & Family

<p>I was watching tv the other day (not Monday, no, not Tuesday, not Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday or even Sunday, but the<em> other</em> day) when I saw a commercial for Verizon. I had seen this commercial before.

I Would Be Quite the Catch in Prison

I'm sure my cellmate would tell all the other prisoners how good of a lay I was, and next thing you know, all the Spring Creek State Penitentiary and Correctional Facility would be lining up for their chance to put their balls in my baby-hole or my food-h

So Cold… So Cold

<p>The other day I was hanging around with my girlfriend, who, unlike me, doesn't spend most of the day thinking about porn, rape, and cocaine.</p>

Sometimes I Lay Awake at Night

<p>Like millions of Americans, I struggle with sleep-related problems ranging from trouble falling asleep to tossing and turning to waking up in the middle of the night.</p><p>For whatever reason, it takes me hours to fall asleep. Who knows what causes sleep problems? Stress? Too much caffeine? Just the way things are? Who knows?</p>

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