Hey, I won't be mad at ya if you peruse my comedy a bit. -Saying what you think you don't think. Paul Frank has written more comedy than your grandma's had periods. Paul Frank is a mystical creature like leprochauns, midgets, and MILFs. He lives solely on a diet of vodka, Hot Pockets, and milk-less cereal.

Comedy Writing

ATTN: All Staff and Employees

<p>ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES:</p><p> </p><p>This is CEO Bruce 'The Bruce' Livingston. There will be consequences for those forgetting to attach cover sheets to all reports, even those sent via e-mail. MAKE SURE you're attaching those cover sheets.</p>

Make Your Afterlife an Afterparty

<p>Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be the life of the party. Be the party animal you've always wanted to be at the exclusive party six feet under: your coffin.</p><p>At Don Johnson's<strong> FUN</strong>erals And Coffin Supply, our coffins are three times the size of normal coffins and three times the fun, too.</p>

My Thoughts on Judge Judy, Dentists, Pregnancy and AIDS

<p>How come Judge Judy never sentences anyone to death?</p><p>I went to the dentist yesterday, and I was talking to the receptionist. I mentioned how I make comedy videos with my friends. She said "oh God" and rolled her eyes. I laughed, kind of taken aback, and asked her what she meant.

So I Pour Blood On Babies

<p>So I pour blood onto babies. Big. Fucking. Deal. You're honestly telling me you've never drenched a baby with blood before? You, my friend, are a liar, then.</p>

My Janitorial Legacy

I was born to be a janitor, just like my father. Janitoring flows through my veins like dirty mop water, and I will make my father proud.

A Time For Prayer

<p>My heavenly Father, I must speak to you.</p><p>This is a time of need for me.</p><p>I'm sorry I come to you with only problems, but this time it's serious. This is a life-and-death issue here, God.</p><p>Please give me guidance in this matter:</p><p>What razor will give me a close, comfortable shave, for a price I can afford?</p>

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