Surviving General Education Courses
Your brain, your penis, and your liver are all on the brink of failure. Is it some disease or just college? Should have paid attention in bio.
Comedy Writing
How to Speed Your Way Out of a DUI
If you want people to forget you pissed yourself, then shit in your pants. If you want a cop to overlook driving under the influence, step on the gas.
Drinking Away Your Summer Vacation
Summer means two things: getting a job and drinking. Not necessarily in that order, but always with adventures involving both.
I Am So Sorry, Girl
A free form poetry apology to that 'special' girl you barely knew, but had to break it off with. Parting is such sarcastic sorrow.
Do NOT Air This Sitcom
Twelve rules for avoiding primetime pilot disaster, in spite of FOX's enthusiasm for your 1970's identical twin mixup drama starring Pepsi.
Greatest Snow Day Activities
When the harshness of winter finally convinces your college to close down, how will you spend the day? Whatever you do, please add alcohol.
How to Spot a Shitty College
Don't believe the glossy, smiling brochures or the misleading campus tours. Beneath it all is a big pile of shit you will regret ever stepping in.
Just Say No to Molly
Please don't ignore the wisdom of an experienced janitor. Because when it comes to brothels, they know exactly which type of ecstasy to avoid.
The Great Roommate Sex Escape
When your roommate's doin' the nasty with some ugly, and you're sober enough to hear it, it's time to evacuate. Know your emergency exit routes.
Live Like It’s Rivalry Weekend (Michigan/Ohio State Football)
There's nothing more intense than an age-old rivalry like Michigan/Ohio State football. Just try to avoid the cops in riot gear.
The Real World DOES Suck
What is the world outside the college bubble really like? Let's just say the 'realness' sets in hard after a week of corporate paperclip-counting.
Praise for the Manwhore
His only job is to please college girls. Specifically all the ones on your dorm floor. But does he really deserve the tainted rep?