Dorm Showers, Robotic Professors, and Drunken Caretaking
Dorm showering is strange. Never again will you have to shower wearing sandals while talking to six friends doing the same thing a half-wall away.
Comedy Writing
Bombed Tests, Fake Semi-Friends and Campus Hotties
Have you ever bombed a test so badly that you're actually done taking it before the rest of the class? I never know what to do so I wait for three people to turn in ahead of me.
Wounded Soldiers, Alleged Philanthropy, and The Look
Every morning after a party, I wander around the room hungover, clearing away just enough trash to live above the poverty line for the rest of the weekend.
Delinquent Interns, Drunken Reminder Tags, and Hooking Up
I had another internship this summer and boy what a thrill! Nothing beats waiting for a career breakthrough by talking on instant messenger all day.
Ride Scavengers, Airplane Drunks, and Moving Out
Nothing will stop me from getting in my car every morning and attempting to drive closer to class, even though I know our campus is designed to be a "walking campus."
Awkward College Situations
Have you ever met someone from class and become pretty good "campus friends" only to find out like 3 months later that neither of you knows the other person’s name?
Jammed Copiers, Gloved Exams, and Mailbox Condoms
Did you know that if you actually READ the error message on a copier, you can usually fix the problem in about 30 seconds?
Summer Internship: Behind the Scenes
Most of my co-workers complain during the day about being tired of doing so much work. As an intern, the only thing I got tired of was appearing to be busy.
Junior Year: More College Perspectives
Remember freshman year when you had no idea WHAT you would need when you got to college? Now I'm a junior and know exactly what I need, but I'm too lazy to pack it all.
Stressed Out Whiners, Short-term Learners, and Ballpoint Stirrers
Most people end up getting sick at some point from being "too stressed out" during finals. I'm going to vomit on the next person who thinks I should pity them for this.
Spring Break, Your Refrigerator, and Procrastinology
When someone tells you their spring break was "pretty relaxing," this translates to "I went home and I was fucking bored out of my mind."
Second Semester: Balancing the Equilibrium
Have you ever noticed how everyone gets sick when they come back for second semester? This has everything to do with the disruption of the alcoholic equilibrium.