Would You Rather? Return to Office Edition
Would you rather spend 25% of your paycheck on Everlane’s "Sims 2 Fall/Winter ‘23 collection” or trompe l'oeil mascara onto your face with a free Zoom filter?
Comedy Writing
Horoscopes from Your Mother
As your Venus begins to fade you may be feeling like you're losing control of your life. A man can really help with that.
How to Cope When a Loved One Reveals They’re a Red Hot Chili Peppers Fan
Unraveling the “why?” behind a Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP) fan’s devotion is critical towards correctly identifying their funk-rock condition.
Obituaries for a Thanksgiving Turkey
He passed the way he lived, with quiet dignity. Nourishing the owners of Grace Organic Farm with the bravery, honor, and tender thighs of a true hero.
Non-Apology Apologies for Corporate Ne’er-Do-Wells
Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.
The Grimm Institute’s Back-to-School Checklist for Princesses and Maidens
Running Shoes (1 pair): For use during the “Escape from Evil Stepmothers, Youth-Fixated Witches, and Tyrannical Kings” PE section. Adidas preferred.
The Beachball at a Corporate Sales Event Experiences Ennui
I was a philosophy major. I can’t say my studies haven’t served me well in my current line of work as the beachball tossed at corporate sales events.
How to Lift Your Glutes Without Squats
Take Time To Ideate: Commune with your butt on the shape and altitude you’d like to achieve together.
The White House of Horrors: Release and Waiver of Liability and Risk Assumption Agreement
You assume liability for certain risks including overcooked steak, delusions of grandeur, eerily dwindling base support, and airborne spray tan.
A Series of Recent Rejection Letters
‘Sup Reject, Thanks for your interest in pursuing the most radical career opportunity of your life with us. After scopin’ out your CV, nah.
Found Crystals for the Financially Insolvent
Often referred to as a gateway totem, Shattered Window Shard is one of the easiest crystals to find or create.