I’m Looking for a Lot of Specific Recommendations from This Local Facebook Group
I need a place to get a present for a five-year-old who loves snakes. Any recommendations for something yellow that is slime but not slime?
Comedy Writing
Judah Maccabee, M.D. — No, Not That Maccabee
If this is a medical emergency or if suspicious men are breaking into your place of worship, hang up and dial 911.
Join My WhatsApp Group for Unnecessary Updates on Our Kids’ School Bus Route
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.
So I Hear You Know Photoshop
Would you mind making me a logo for my new insect-dessert business? I was going to hire someone, but they wanted to charge me a few hundred dollars.
Once I Uncurl Your Tresses, You Will Be the Prettiest Maiden in the Land
The thickness of the summer air has once again damned you. I say, I’m going to return with some hot coals to singe those satan ropes.
Yes, I Replaced the Portico Columns with Colossal Pencils in Preparation for the First Day of School Photoshoot
I’ve got my iPhone ready to snap the most insane pictures of my kids, holding a blackboard with facts scrawled in elaborate chalk calligraphy.
Neighbor, I See Your Little Watering Hose and Raise You This Mighty Power-Washing Wand
At 8 PM on Thursday, my basketball hoop is going to look brand-spanking new. I don’t have to care about your family or your kids.