“The Toys Are Sleeping” and Other Lies I Tell My Toddler
"The cat is sleeping right now. Use your quiet voice." / He’s not, but he’s 107 in people years. Stop screaming in his face.
Ryan is a writer living in NYC, constantly threatening to move back to LA. Her work has appeared in Reductress, McSweeneys, Funny or Die, and a bunch of commercials you probably fast forwarded through.
"The cat is sleeping right now. Use your quiet voice." / He’s not, but he’s 107 in people years. Stop screaming in his face.