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i am better than you. i will come in your mouth and frown at you.

i have a chapbook out called YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE (jaguar uprising press)

i have a book forthcoming called I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT (paper hero press). please come to

Comedy Writing

I Can’t Wait to Break Your Arm

Throughout my life I have had many goals: soccer player, good student, drummer, gym teacher, guy who toasts bagels, etc. But I now see my life as having been misguided because now I know for sure that I seriously can't wait to break your arm.

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