Diary of a License Plate Designer
Can’t seem to think of a good slogan. “Minnesota: Chug It Down!” No, that’s not it. “Minnesota: Everybody in the Pool!” Closer, but still no.
Comedy Writing
If Google is Serious About Regaining Our Trust, It Must Start by Offering Alternative Ways to Torture the Small Yellow Man in Google Maps
The Google Maps user demands options, from dangling the man above a pack of wild dogs, to launching him across the Bering Strait in a slingshot.
Alright Fellas, We’re Doing It: We’re Robbing This Bank
Hey now. Don’t give me that look. We’re still a team, fellas. I’m a valued member of this crew, just as important as everybody else.
4 Times the Winter Olympics Tried to Boost Ratings By Exhuming a Classic Movie Star’s Corpse
Millions tuned in to watch Jimmy Stewart’s body rocket down the mountain, reaching a top speed of 90 MPH and securing the bronze.
Is Kirsten Gillibrand Likeable, Tough, Driven, Soapy, and Metallic Enough? Or Is She Too Glittering, Muscular, Serpentine, and Tangy?
I harbor serious doubts whether Gillibrand has the fortitude, charisma, hunkiness, and vertical leap necessary to win the electoral college.
Stop Giving TV Shows Confusing Names and Use My Much Better Ones Instead
"West World" This title could not be more vague. West? World? You’ve lost me. Improved Title: "Beep Boop Yeehaw"
Relaxation Techniques For When You’re Feeling Anxious or Looting a Radio Shack
Remain present as you haul ass down the aisles, reminding yourself to stay in the moment as you sweep armfuls of electronics into a burlap sack.
Tips for Owning a Birdhouse
Do not launder money through your birdhouse. It is a crime punishable by penalty of not getting to have a birdhouse anymore.
Greetings! ‘Tis I, The Last Man on ChatRoulette
This was a lively place teeming with men who after a day of explaining Bitcoin to George Lucas on Twitter, knew that they would find love on a webcam.