The Grapes of Wrath, and Other Dangerous Fruits to Avoid
- “Economically anxious” strawberries - The blackberries of our discontent - The raspberries of road rage
Comedy Writing
So Your Office Has Been Reclaimed by Wilderness
If in doubt, release a canary (oh, you should bring a canary) into a ventilation shaft and observe it carefully.
Suggested Organizations for End-of-Year Charitable Tax Donations
Wounded Keyboard Warrior Project – Provides ergonomic computer interfaces for patriots injured in online political arguments.
My Right to Wear a Beard of Bees Shall Not Be Infringed!
Any establishment that denies me entry because I have twenty-seven thousand honeybees swarming on his face has no regard for personal freedom.
Oh God Oh God Hide Me from the Horrible Noise, by Your Pet Dog
Did you people hear that? The boom! The fucking boom! Come on, I know you two-legged freaks can't hear shit, but even you must— HOLY SHIT!
In Which the Great Philosophers Discuss the Matter of Godzilla
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is Godzilla." –Albert Camus / "I came. I saw Godzilla. I ran away." –Julius Caesar
Woke Reboots for Classic Movies
T2: Non-Judgmental Acceptance Day / The Empire Respects the Will of the Populace / 10 Things I Respectfully Disapprove of About You