Tanner Abernathy profile page

Tanner Abernathy Tacoma

Tanner Abernathy is a writer and teacher in a Seattle suburb. He relies on comedy as a tool for candor - for better or worse.

Comedy Writing

The Refrigerator in Your Parents’ Garage Would like to Explore Death with Dignity

I matched the microwave, we were like cute twins. During dinner parties, people would say, "Wow, love the matching appliance set."

by Tanner Abernathy
|
January 15, 2025

Jokes

Top 5 Worst Places to Be Shot

1. The Gap
2. The hip
3. In line for the waterslide (near top)
4. The Head… and the Heart revival tour
5. During a traffic stop on your way to an interview at The Gap

— Tanner Abernathy

I always hoped one day we could have flying cars, but no matter how many Volvos I push out of nests, they never learn.

— Tanner Abernathy