I’m Not Available to Save the Community Center
But I really need to keep my weekends free in case my brother gets the jet skis or NYT Cooking puts out a really bomb 12-hour stew.
Comedy Writing
Your Promotion from Coworker to Friend Has Been Denied
We know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but unfortunately our pool was full of more qualified applicants or people we already know who lived closer.
The Thing About My Non-Committal Boyfriend Is That He Was Hurt in a Previous Relationship Also He Can’t Close His Eyes Completely like a Furby
He was broken up with once, so we can’t expect him to be anywhere on time, as planned, or wearing an outfit appropriate for the occasion.
Just Confirming Some Details of Your Flower Delivery Order
It looks from your notes that you’d like a "colony of fire ants with the vengeance of a thousand suns."