Thatcher Jensen | Points in Case

Thatcher Jensen Minneapolis

Thatcher Jensen is a humor writer based in NYC. He studied satire with The Second City and has written for McSweeney’s. Thatcher’s biggest influences include classic American cinema like Dude Where's My Car, and Ted Cruz.

Comedy Writing

Welcome to Orangetheory Fitness, Where We Push it to the Limit, And Then, Like, A Whole Lot More After That

We simply weren’t burning enough calories. That’s why we swapped it out for High Intensity Forever Training (HIFT).

by Thatcher Jensen
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February 1, 2019

Jordy Peterson: The Dork Who Hates Women

After Watching 10,000 Hours of Jordan Peterson YouTube Lectures, I Finally Understand What It Means to be a Real Man

I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about, but as a practicing clinical psychologist, he probably knows something that I don’t.

by Thatcher Jensen
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August 27, 2018

It's Mike Pence but not quite how you expect him

I’m Mike Pence and My Entire Existence is an Improv Scene Gone Awry

The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.

by Thatcher Jensen
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August 12, 2018

I’m Kevin Bacon’s Character from “Tremors” and I Vehemently Oppose Gun Control Legislation

Put yourself in my shoes, trapped in the middle of the desert with underground nightmare creatures waiting to devour you at any given moment.

by Thatcher Jensen
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August 2, 2018

Introducing Rise™, the New Season by Starbucks

From our flagship hot beverage, Fiery Wrath Cappuccino™, to our new hellfire-baked goods, there’s something for everyone and everything and everytime!

by Thatcher Jensen
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July 12, 2018

Scary Campfire Stories for the One-Percent

Due to a new Harvard policy, your youngest son is unable to coast in on the coattails of a new building contribution. He ends up attending Reed.

by Thatcher Jensen
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June 30, 2018