With a pitiful attempt to mask her laughter, the doctor asks, 'Sir is that a vacuum nozzle attached to your penis?' And before I can grab a breath, the room fills with health care professionals staring intently at my smothered cock.
Parked in front of the local Wal-Mart I find myself staring at my chain steering wheel trying to remember what items I was supposed to pick up for my grandmother. Spam, K-Y Jelly and stool softener. Yeah, I think that was it.
After a moment of self loathing and total despair I have an epiphany: Get laid, that will solve all your problems. I have this epiphany after every working day, but this time I will open up the yellow pages and pick a nightclub to meet my goal.