My Doctor’s Pretty Good, Apart from How Often He Says “Ewwwwwwwww!!”
It was good to hear the inside of my mouth also looked "healthy, but super grody, you know, like mouths are."
Comedy Writing
Complaints Submitted to My Online Christmas Tree Business
My house got robbed and my tree did nothing. In fact, I’m pretty sure it gave the burglars the alarm code.
We’re Definitely Not Exaggerating Our Claims About This Merino Wool Jacket Just to Get You to Buy It
This jacket matches whatever you’re wearing. It’ll choose an outfit for you if you don’t know what to wear.
Metallica’s Clue and Other Metal Board Games
Iron Maiden’s Trivial Pursuit: All questions pertain to the band’s twelve-minute songs which sum up a book you were supposed to read in school but didn’t.
I’m the Silverfish in Your Bathtub, and I Could Really Use a Break
What did any silverfish ever do to you? We’re barely able to stop ourselves from disintegrating into dust.