Justin Bieber is Radioactive! and More of Today’s Absolutely Essential Celebrity News
The Despacito singer received a routine chest X-ray today. Doctors say the Biebs will be “mildly radioactive for the next several hours.” Cute!
Comedy Writing
Assholes Brace for the Arrival of Self-Driving Cars
The same folks who tailgate, casually cut you off, and pass you on the shoulder now face no longer being able to terrorize fellow drivers.
Hannibal: I’m Starting to Think Crossing the Alps was a Stupid Idea
Just six months ago, eating peeled grapes from my servants, I thought it was a brilliant idea. Now, standing up to my ass in snow, maybe not so much.
Martha Stewart’s Perfect Mouse Trap Bait Recipe
You want something with a decidedly pleasing aroma and subtle flavors sure to attract the attention of your average mouse.
I Just Painted My Social Security Number on the Side of My House for My YouTube Channel!
Hello to everyone out there in cyberspace, it's me, Brock Yeager, international daredevil extraordinaire with more crazy, death-defying stunts!
Pursue an Accelerated Ninja/Rock Star Dual Degree at Franklin Morse College
Our select, highly motivated students enjoy small class sizes, and hands-on instruction from fearsome masked assassins and famous rock bands.
How to Troubleshoot a Sump Pump, Sponsored by Marque de Mode Luxury Handbags
Flooded basement? Fashion purveyors Marque de Mode have you covered with some simple tips to get your basement dryer than a martini at Café Montague.
Listen Carl, You Need to Stop Saying Schadenfreude All the Time
I know for a fact that schadenfreude is the only German word you know. Try saying kugelschreiber or apfelsaft in a sentence and have it actually mean something.
No, I Definitely Said Netflix and Chili
Oh, hey, hi! No, I'm not mad you're half an hour late. But I'm not sure why you're standing there holding that ginormous box of condoms.