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New Jesus: I have been restored.
<p>So over the weekend your skater boi here got a little carried away after he found out making memes was particularly easy. Hope you enjoy my calvalcade of emptiness!</p><p><img src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/269788_1959959237010_1392404922_n.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="502" /></p>
Oh no you guys, I look like a humanized Bart Simpson in my twitter picture.
We were so in love. But she was on the other side of the playground. The year: 1995. I was in kindergarten. It was early fall and the lines for the swings were long.
"Joe?" A flash of anger rides up the back of my neck as I try to answer as calmly as I can. "It's, uh, Joel, actually," I say, tight-lipped.
My best friend Winston heard that my parents would be out of town for the weekend and his eyes glazed over with one thought: PARTY. And before I knew it, the wheels were in motion.
How could you lose that mixtape, girl? I had The Smiths on there! And and and Billy Idol and Steve Winwood! A classic mixtape if I ever heard one!
<p>First,</p><ol><li>Take two separate objects (persons, things, etc.) and write about them subjectively.</li><li>Then, comingle the two (like snakes!).</li><li>Lastly, show off to friends.</li></ol><p>Example below:</p>
I'm sorry I won't have to do The Walk of Shame tomorrow morning. I'm sorry I choose to use my brain cells wisely. Mostly, I'm sorry I didn't return your smile.
<p><img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m122obvImn1r5cb48o1_500.png" alt="" width="400" height="500" /></p><p> So this happened... </p>
I'm standing in the Cook County Courthouse, and to be frank, I don't even know how I ended up in Chicago, but it's barely even nine o'clock and the guards are watching me closely.