Wesley Jansen

One thing I have learned about life is that the best way to impress a lady is to walk up to her and say the following: "I am not a simple man, I am a complex mosaic of interconnected thoughts, feelings, and often conflicting emotions." (Then belch as loud as you can and punch yourself in the face.) I grew up in a really exciting small river town of 6,000 people. I used to work in a broom factory, and I've had 3 kidney surgeries that I often like to describe in intricate detail at the dinner table. (If you didn't find this information stimulating enough, I'd also like to mention that I have a drinking problem.) For extra comedy articles, short stories, Korea-inspired material, and yes, even some poetry... check out my personal website at or feel free to contact me at [email protected].