New York, NY

Calvin: "I say it's a fallacy that kids need 12 years of school! Three months is plenty! Look at me. I'm smart! I don't need 11 1/2 more years of school! It's a complete waste of my time!" Hobbes: "How on earth did you get all the way to the bus stop with both feet through one pant leg?" Calvin: "I fell down a lot. ...

Comedy Writing

Some Quick Jokes

I'll give you a real post later. For now, savor these <a href="/jokes" title="Short Jokes">quick jokes</a>: <br /><br />I liked going away to college because "broke" sounds a lot better than poor.<br /><br />They say you can take the girl out of Dallas, but you can't take the Dallas out of a girl. Leastways without a wire hanger.<br />

Cut That Out

To quote the sexiest blogger of all time:<br /><br />"I used to be one of those emo cutter kids. But it wasn't so much that I was really hurting myself, it's more than whenever I would hear one of those floppy-haired waistrels start to bitch, I would cut him."<br />

I’m a Jerk

Masturbation freestyle. Off the head. So to speak. Why? Because I can. I'm going to try to keep typing as long as I can.<br /><br />Don't ask me what I'm doing, c'mon y'all know<br />Whacking my dick-nicknamed him Tony Soprano<br />I do it like clockwork, 365 an ano<br />I do it in the bedroom, kitchen foyer and bano<br />Just me and Mini-me, going mano-a-mano

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