Kanye West’s “Cruel Summer”: The Lost Script
Last week at the Cannes Film Festival, a fashion designer by the name of Kanye West premiered his feature film, Cruel Summer. I got my hands on the original script.
Comedy Writing
Is Rick Ross Forming His Own Avengers?
While the outsider may see Rozay's recent roster signees as a "sign of the times," he's actually fulfilling a dream he's had since childhood: forming his own Avengers.
5 Tips to Avoid Getting Shot on Campus
While it may seem that the only logical solution is to simply avoid going to class, I have five foolproof alternatives that are sure to save your life in a school shooting.
Your First Rap Concert
Since you've never been to a rap concert before this one, you're unsure of what to expect. How many people will be there? Who's opening?
A Letter from Lana Del Rey to Her Father
Hi Daddy, What I need most of all is money. And no, before you roll your eyes at me this money is not for something stupid like studio time or an education, it's for my lips!
Look at My Fucking Canada Goose Jacket!
Do you know what this jacket means?! It means I'm warm as fuck right now! I have a long day ahead of me, but I sure as hell won't be as cold as you idiots in your moderately priced winter clothes!!
You Can Camp, But You Can’t Hide From the Occupocalypse
People all over North America have suddenly lost the will to work, opting instead to live out their urban camping fantasy in New York, even in the face of impending doom.
How to Keep Your Genitals Off the Internet
Even people like Scarlet Johansson can't count on the help of the FBI to catch crotch shot photogs, so what are common peasants like you and I supposed to do to keep our genital gems guarded?
Corporate Office Limericks
You'll most likely be asked to work late, so the boss doesn't end up irate. To avoid confrontation, and sleep deprivation, take a nap on the most overweight.
A Reply to Warren Buffett, From the Ultra-Mega-Rich
You ask for a "shared sacrifice" from the ultra-rich, and that's very cute in theory, but I'm a super villain and I have an army to equip, a lair to furnish, and peasants to squash. So go fuck yourself.
Resignation Letter from a Hipster
The following is a resignation letter from Gabriael Coqurnilius, the most respected man in The Aristocracy, a society as secretive as Skull and Bones and as influential as The Illuminati.
Open Mic Surgery
Choosing a summer activity to pass the long days can be tough. If you find yourself in a dark, musty room no fire marshal has ever set foot in, you're probably at an open mic comedy show.