Cortlandt Manor, NY

9x NBA All-Defensive First team. 4x NBA MVP. 3x Olympic Gold Medalist in Dumpling Eating. 2x Voted Favorite Child in Family. 1x Second-Team Lover. I've tried to find the best dumplings in the world. I'm still looking. It hasn't been an easy journey. I've lived in New York, Boston, Los Angeles, spent three days in Boulder, Colorado, and the search still continues. Scouring novels, musical albums, artwork for any reference to a clue on where to find the best dumplings, I've taken to asking for suggestions (which, let's be honest, most people are fine with Trader Joe's dumplings, which I can't get behind). I'm trying to let out a breath and not feel a world of regret; hope you're doing well today!

Comedy Writing

hell is hell my dudes

Welcome to Hell – A Brand Book

Now you’re suspended on a wall of shard glass as rabid monkeys devour your intestines and Dave Matthews’ 2002 album “Busted Stuff” blasts on repeat.

lol it's rilke

DMs to a Young Influencer

I’m not ignoring your DMs, young influencer, it’s that I am seeing what content-oceans you swim to on your own. With isolation comes solitude.

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