Dear Mildred,
Times have been difficult since I left you in the pouring rain last April. As you know, my journey has led me to the Sivalik Hills, South of the Himalayas. My boots have taken me far from our simple country town, and they are in great need of repair. Last week, I had to trade the scarf you knitted me for a sack of rice. I may be on hard times, but when I close my eyes, I can still see you waving to me from the parking lot of Red Lobster.
It is all coming back to me now. You see, I am writing to you in a small cafe in Kalimpong town, not far from the flower market. A Nepali man, who I’ve named Praggit, is serving me a traditional poor man’s meal of brown rice (my own) and sour goat’s milk yogurt. You would like Praggit, Mildred. He has a satellite feed of American television stations and is a huge fan of the Price is Right and Two And a Half Men (just like you).
And it is on Praggit’s television I was reminded of the return of Lobsterfest®. Has it really been a year? Where has the time gone?
I remember our last night so clearly! We sat in a booth not far from the lobster tank. You wore a red dress, and I brought my own lobster fork from home. Even though it was Lobsterfest®, you were content with the Chilled Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail from the LightHouse SelectionsSM menu. I, however, stayed true to evening’s celebrations and ordered the Lobster Lover’s Dream, which included a succulent rock lobster tail AND a sweet split Maine lobster tail, roasted and served with shrimp, lobster and langostino linguini Alfredo.
When I told Praggit what I had eaten, he laughed at me. He did not understand why one person would need so much lobster in one sitting. I explained how Lobsterfest® is a once-in-a-year treat, and many Americans consider Lobsterfest® to be a bit of a holiday. Praggit said the Nepali people have a holiday called Ghode Jatra (Festival of Horses), but they don’t eat the horses.
I thought Praggit was hung up on the lobster part of Lobsterfest®, so I changed the subject. I told him about the unlimited Cheddar Bay Biscuits served before each meal, but he refused to acknowledge anything like that could exist. He said, “If that were true, then why are people dying of hunger in the villages outside of Kalimpong and all across the world?”
I told him the biscuits are only available at the 690 Red Lobster restaurants in America, but if someone in Kalimpong were interested in opening up a franchise, I could get them in contact with the manager from our Red Lobster back home. This seemed to frustrate Praggit. He grabbed my plate of brown rice and sour goat’s milk yogurt and threw it in the trash. I didn’t take offense, though. It’s not like it was the Bar Harbor Lobster-And-Shrimp Trio or any of the other new menu items during this year’s Lobsterfest®.
Mildred, you do not how I miss our annual pilgrimage to Lobsterfest®. Here I am seeking inner truth and spiritual peace in the Himalayan foothills, and you are back home enjoying succulent lobster tail all at a reasonable price.
So my question is this: which one of us has found inner peace?
I believe the answer is you, dear Mildred. You did not need to leave town to savor the best that life had to offer. Yes, Lobsterfest® is only available for a limited time at participating restaurants, but you have shown a little patience and perseverance can lead to great rewards! In other words: why seek happiness, when happiness will return to you annually in the form of Lobsterfest®?
Plus if you fall on hard times, you can always go into Red lobster on a weekday and order lobster off their regular menu.
Oh Mildred, you truly are an inspiration! Perhaps when I return home, we can open our very own Red Lobster? How does that sound? I could be head chef, and you could be the Hostess. Together, we could bring lobster to the people (at market price) and spread inner peace to everyone in town!
Who knows? Our Red Lobster franchise might even become just as busy the one in Munster, Indiana!
OK, my dear. I must go now. Praggit is threatening to pull the plug on my computer. He doesn’t like how I keep playing Lobsterfest® commercials from this year and years past.
I love you,
Stanley
PS – I should be home in time for Shrimpfest®.