CERTIFICATE OF AMENDMENT
of
THE CERTIFICATE OF DOOFUS
of
MR. YANCEY P. SULLIVAN IV
(Under Section 805 of the Doofus Law)
Pursuant to the provisions of Sections 502 and 805 of the Doofus Law, the undersigned hereby certify:
1. The name of the Doofus is MR. YANCEY P. SULLIVAN IV and will hereby be recognized as a ‘Doofus’ or ‘Stupid Person’.
2. The Certificate of Doofus was filed by the Department of State of the State of Georgia on March 15, 2011.
3. The Certificate of Doofus is hereby amended by the addition of the following provision stating MR. YANCEY P. SULLIVAN IV must invoke an attitude that is brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, laughable, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, shortsighted, simple, simpleminded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thick-headed, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking and/or witless.
4. In requirement with the above, MR. YANCEY P. SULLIVAN IV must commit acts of stupidity, whether they be physical demonstrations or verbal utterances, as fixed by the Board of Doofus Directors pursuant to the authority vested in it by the Certificate of Doofus.
Section 1: Designation and Amount.
Preferred Doofus behavior (a.k.a. ‘acts of stupidity’) shall be 100 per week or 7,000 annually. This is not a maximum. Doofus behavior may be increased or decreased by resolution of the Board of Doofus Directors; provided, that no decrease shall reduce the number of acts of stupidity of Preferred Doofus behavior to a number less than the number of Doofus behavior then outstanding plus the number of Doofus behavior reserved for holidays, special occasions and/or general moments of stupidity.
Section 2: Voting Rights.
Subject to the provision for adjustment hereinafter set forth, each Doofus is entitled thereof to 100 votes on all matters submitted to a vote, just long as they’re in accordance with the provisions of Sections 502 and 805 of the Doofus Law.
Section 3. Certain Restrictions.
No Doofus may violate Doofus Law. In addition, the Board of Doofus Directors requires each Doofus must not:
(i) respect the boundaries of non-Doofuses, whether those boundaries be physical, emotional, intellectual or otherwise.
(ii) declare or pay monies for goods and services UNLESS said monies are handcrafted or arranged to form a new currency using found items or other knickknacks by a certified Doofus.
(iii) solve problems or help non-Doofuses in any way UNLESS it is to gain enough trust in the non-Doofus(es) to be invited into their life whereby you may thrust the non-Doofus(es) into a state of confusion, absurdity and general chaos.
Section 4. Consolidation, Merger, Marriage, Etc.
The Chairman of the Doofus Board of Directors must approve any and all consolidations, mergers, marriages, combinations or other transactions in which the Doofus works, lives or interacts with another Doofus or other Doofuses.
Section 5. Amendment.
The Certificate of Doofus shall not be amended in any manner which would materially alter or change the powers, preferences or special rights of Doofus so as to affect them adversely without the affirmative vote of the Board of Doofus Directors.
Section 6. Board Approval.
This Certificate of Amendment of the Certificate of the Doofus MR. YANCEY P. SULLIVAN IV was approved by the Board of Doofus Directors on March 15, 2011.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we have executed and subscribed this Certificate
of Amendment, and do affirm the foregoing as true, this 15th day of March, 2011,
under penalties of perjury.
Name:/s/ James E. Sillypants
Title: Chairman of the Doofus Board of Directors
Name: Salamander M. Montehume II
Title: Senior Vice President Doofus