During my last trip to Minnesota Sterny told me about this story:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1116061deer1.html
For those of you who don’t want to read:
Basically, this guy was biking across rural Minnesota and spotted a dead deer on the side of the highway – which honestly, is about every mile in some parts of the Land O' Lakes.
He saw the poor dead beast and did what any honest American would do: he dropped his pants and had sex with it.
Wait, there’s more.
This isn’t the first time young Bryan James Hathaway banged an animal. A few years earlier he shot a horse…so he could make love to it.
Now, the resulting law case displays pure comic gold. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write something as hilarious.
http://www.legalreader.com/archives/003680.html
But I have further questions.
I know there are plenty of bestiality people out there, and that’s a little weird to me but whatever, different strokes for different folks. But what’s it like to be looked down upon by animal fuckers? I mean, clearly, you’re an odd duck in your group of doggystylers. How does he classify himself? Are there more people out there like him? Do they have groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous for him? I found out through years of practice that I like to sleep with exclusively beautiful women. How the hell do you discover your attracted to roadkill?
More Queries:
I think we can agree that this is bestiality, which I’d say is his first strike.
I mean, if Hathaway was fucking a buck (male deer) would that make him a homosexual?
Since he deep dicked a horse and then a deer, is he some kind of swinger or adulterer?
He likes his meat, um, cold. Is he a necrophiliac?
So he likes to screw in public, who doesn’t like a little exhibition?
Does he (shudder) cuddle with them afterwards – of course only when he doesn’t get caught by highway patrolmen?
Maybe I'm just a vanilla suburban kid.