Yesterday, the Iranians released photos of the U.S. drone that went down in Iran. Of course, the Iranian government considers this a victory, and was happy to showcase their prize, non-functioning enemy possession. But something tells me they're going to regret releasing these photos. Because if you're an Iranian citizen, and you ever wanted proof that your country is struggling economically, or led by wacky dudes, these photos are just what you've been waiting for!
Here we have a Revolutionary Guard official explaining to his superior officer why exactly a basketball gym was considered a good idea for housing anything of international, more or less stealth U.S., value. Because as anyone knows, Iranians are notoriously stingy about preserving the delicate wax court finish for their basketball teams.
In the above photo, we see one of several banners printed at Kinkos Midtown Tehran the night before. Hey look, more lens flares than J.J. Abrams' Star Trek! Somebody call Bollywood, I see an international sequel now: Star Wars! Nothing says your country is in shitty financial standing like flaunting the use of what your enemy considers a B movie budget for unveiling prize government possessions intended to boost national morale.
Here we see military officials getting turned on by what Americans call “implants.” Or maybe he's tucking the drone in for the night.
Upon closer inspection, what is that… OH MY GOSH, SKULLS! Who do you think made the decision exactly how many to include? “So we're going for a really really poisonous American vibe, but we don't wanna drowned out the skulls so much that they look like stars again! I'm thinking 8 skulls, and just leave the stripes untouched; stripes are classy, ya know?”
And kudos to the clearly younger military official who had the presence of mind to leave up the photo of Iranian rapper Ghogha in the background. He had just performed to a sold out high school cafeteria crowd the day before; a little hipness goes a long way to maintaining a happy dictatorship!
A final tip from the Iranian government: If you want your citizens to believe any of your stories about finding unexpected aircraft, make them look like UFOs! Everybody believes in UFOs!