Washington Wizard guards Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton recently got into a small disagreement over Arenas owing Crittenton $25,000 in gambling debt, an argument that ended in the teammates pulling fucking guns on each other in the Wizards locker room. Legal ramifications aside (DC has strict gun laws), this situation is ripe with hilariousness.
The following is what I’ve learned from Arenas’ Twitter page. Enjoy!
He’s an amateur film maker……
He’ll fuck his way to a million followers….
He’s pissed he has 3 kids and a fat girlfriend….
Apparently when you have 3 kids and a girlfriend your idea of a party is jerking off…..
Gil’s New Year’s Resolution: A skinny girlfriend!
Bitch weighs 185………
He heard Tiger Woods dated two midgets…..
This whole gun mess will make him a better blogger…..
He wants you to know Shaq didn’t nail his fiancée……
Unless bitches can teleport……
In which case, BOTTOMLESS PARTY AT AGENT ZERO’S!
The Shaq story got him a blowjob….
He has young followers but feels the need to keep it real…..
If you’re confused by all this…..you’s a hater!
He “don’t drink or do drugs”…he’s a simple kind of man!
He thinks his fellow NBA Tweeter’s are lame….
He believes in more cushion for the pushin'….
Since he hates peanut butter, he knows he can’t swallow Vaseline…
He enjoys fish when infidelity pops up…..
Blackberry technology confuses him…..
He doesn’t have an ‘’I-phizzle’’ because they are easily hacked…..
He thinks Twitter is like video games without the name calling…..
He was in college at 16…….
Twitter will not take his happiness away…..
Gilbert Arenas thought Soul Plane was funny…..
He’s headed to both Twitter jail and real jail……
He enjoys jacking off to slow music……
He thinks Dave Chappelle is dead…..
If he wasn’t a pro basketball player, he would like to work at McDonald's because he likes their fries.