But he does find the keyboard to be a nice place to nap.
My cat is no bigger than a dime.
But he is only a kitten.
My cat will probably never be bigger than a quarter.
Heads and tails included.
My cat is a monster.
Don't hate on a monsta.
My Cat Doesn't Know How to Search the Internet
More Humor
RSVP “No” from an 18th Century Stalker
Thank you kindly for what I assume is a forthcoming invitation to your Friday soiree. It is with deep apologies and sober regret, I must decline.
Real Chat with Julian Asange on the Party Life
Julian Asange recounts his intense drug trip at a college dubstep show, as well as his experience with a Taco Bell drive-thru hookup.
My Last 20 Text Messages
I like to think of my latest texts as a shallow character study and a pop culture linguistics check.
Undecidedly Middle Class
There's something I've been meaning to address:the American Public. I mean, whatta you have to do to get an audience around here, run for president?
Heather Linn’s Juicy Yearbook Secrets
Heather Linn was finishing her junior year at Northlake High School in 1988. Little does she know, I've seen (and contributed to) her juicy little yearbook secrets.
My First Time Buying Alcohol for High Schoolers
I bought liquor for two high school guys at a concert the other day, my first experience giving back to the underage alcoholic community I was once a member of.
Eschewing the Tip Drill
In lieu of tipping the bathroom attendant at a strip club, a lot of guys will choose to just NOT wash their hands. Not me.
Iran to US: “I Drone, On and On and On”
If you're an Iranian citizen, and you ever wanted proof that your country is struggling economically, or led by wacky dudes, the US drone photos are just what you've been waiting for!
Brushing Up on Relationships
Why is it that women refuse to turn off the faucet while they brush their teeth? Every one of my girlfriends has gone full blast the entire time.