I crossed Tampa Bay and spent Saturday night at my buddy Peek's house in St. Pete. Peek is getting married and now lives with his fiancée and two men going through divorces. I would take that as a sign of trouble but I'm terribly prone to calling stuff omens. Like that time one of my craps looked a little like Henry Winkler so I was dead sure that God wanted me to pound juke boxes. Yeah, that didn't work out well.
We bought three cases of eight ounce beers over to Peek's. Eight ounce beers are fun because everyone needs a beer like every three minutes so you can just sit back and watch as the party ends up gathering around the refrigerator. Also, if you're really wasted, you can hold onto the beers and pretend that they're twelve ounce beers and that you are really huge. Good times with the baby beers, people. Good times.
This morning at work my boss and I had the following exchange:
Boss: Did you watch the Pro Bowl?
Me: Um, yeah.
Boss: Good.
Me: Huh?
Boss: I just wanted to meet one person who wasted their time with that thing.
And I was this close to saying, "Watch it? Hell, I spent nine hours just writing about the damn thing." But that kind of line (much like my arrest record) will not help me get promoted.
Five things that were annoying when I was in my twenties which are not annoying now:
1. Getting carded
2. Getting hit on by teenage girls
3. Telling older women how old I am when they ask me my age like I'm some dumb kid
4. Receiving credit card applications in the mail
5. Walking by cops while piss wasted
Five things that were not annoying when I was in my twenties which are annoying now:
1. Telling people how much money I make
2. Hangovers
3. Post workout soreness
4. Techno music
5. Actually trying to keep up with a teenage girl
And because logic and fluidity need to get started cleaning up all that goat crap, I leave you the following, which was said at Peek's get-together.
"You never struck me as the kind of guy who would pronounce the T in ‘often.'"