Lately, rumors have surfaced that pop singer Rihanna has secretly been hooking up with her ex-boyfriend, R&B/pop singer Chris Brown, his most famous hit being of her face. Yet, even after he domestically violenced her in a car and it became publically known, she's reportedly been still seeing him nevertheless. Unsurprisingly, people everywhere are shocked and wonder why she would continue to see him. For one, he shows little to no concern and affection for her. Plus, he'll beat the shit out of her.
INTERIOR, RIHANNA'S MANSION, EARLY EVENING
RIHANNA'S BLACK SISTER: "So, Rihanna, got any big plans for Valentine's Day?"
RIHANNA: "Nope." She frowns softly, then turns and looks out the windw, smiling coyly. Lightning strikes and thunder rumbles, lighting up her face and shaking the room. She turns around. "What about you?"
FADE OUT, FADE IN
EXTERIOR, RIHANNA'S STREET, NIGHTFALL
A car pulls quietly onto Rihanna's street. She sneaks out the back door of her mansion and walks to the end of the block, where the running car is parked. She goes to open the door. It's locked. She pulls the handle again. Still locked. She waits a couple seconds, then pulls the handle. Still, locked. Finally, after about a minute or two, an unlocking sound is heard. She pulls open the door and gets in.
INTERIOR, CHRIS BROWN'S CAR, NIGHT
RIHANNA: "Hey baby! It's so good to see you!"
CHRIS BROWN doesn't acknowledge her. He slowly raises and holds out his hand.
RIHANNA looks away, then down. She forces a smile and digs into her pocket. She pulls out a handwritten slip of paper and places it in CHRIS BROWN's palm. It reads "THIS COUPON GOOD FOR 1 FULL-BODY BEATING BY CHRIS BROWN. No cash value."
CHRIS BROWN examines the slip of paper, nods, and sets it down. "Good to see you too, baby," he says, as he pulls back and punches Rihanna in the face as hard as he can. "What's new?"
RIHANNA grabs her face, crying. "Not much, my song hit #1."
CHRIS BROWN: "Oh, which one was that, sweetheart?" he inquires as he turns to the backseat, grabs his ice scraper, and swings at her face.
RIHANNA (coughing up blood): "'We Found Love.'"
CHRIS BROWN: "Oh yeah, yeah, I think I heard that one. It's not bad."
RIHANNA: "Yea, it's alright."
CHRIS BROWN: "How does it go again?"
RIHANNA: "It's like ‘We found love in a hopeless pla-‘" CHRIS BROWN crashes into a light pole to deploy the passenger airbag into RIHANNA's face. "OW!!!!"
CHRIS BROWN: "Oh, I was thinkin' of a different song. I'll peep that one though."
RIHANNA: "Sounds good," she chokes out as she brushes her blood-stained hair out of her blood-stained face.
CHRIS BROWN: "Hey, did you see my tweet an hour ago?"
RIHANNA: "No, my phone died and I had to—"
CHRIS BROWN: "WHAT?!" He screeches the car to a halt. "How could you?" His demeanor changes. He moves slowly and has seemed to have lost all of his energy. He appears disappointed and hurt. He looks out the window, up at the full moon, blinking fast and swallowing.
RIHANNA: "Baby, I'm sorry. Baby, please don't be mad."
CHRIS BROWN: "It's….I just…..I can't believe….It was about you and…….."
RIHANNA: "Come on, babe, forget about it! Please be happy! Please hit me, baby!"
CHRIS BROWN: "I…don't think I can."
RIHANNA: (Worried) "Please just stop being angry and just choke me!"
CHRIS BROWN turns his head over to her, looking at her eager face. "Aw! I can't stay mad at you!" he says as he grabs her throat and squeezes it tightly. "We found love in a hopeless place…We found love in a hopeless place," he sings.
RIHANNA, choking and struggling desperately for air, smiles and tries to sing along.
CHRIS BROWN puts the car in drive, one hand on the steering wheel and the other around Rihanna's neck. "We found love in a hopeless place!"
He puts in his latest CD and turns it up all the way, as if to torture her. RIHANNA passes out, presumably from lack of air. Or from loss of large amounts of blood.
CHRIS BROWN looks over at her. "Aw! You're so cute when you're unconscious, babe!" He takes a right. "Wake up, baby. Got a gift for you." He gets on the highway and speeds up fast. Once at a consistent 85 miles per hour, he leans over, unbuckles Rihanna's seatbelt, and opens her door. She falls out of the car at 85 miles per hour, the gravel bringing her down to 0 miles per hour after her body skids for a couple hundred feet.
CHRIS BROWN stops his car. He puts it in reverse and starts going backwards on the highway until he arrives at RIHANNA. He pulls his car to the shoulder of the highway. "How you feelin', girl?"
RIHANNA, her body a metaphor for CHRIS BROWN's career, looks around, scared, confused, and in massive amounts of pain. She is at what would presumably be the lowest point of her life. "What happened?" she finally gets out.
CHRIS BROWN: "Whitney Houston died."
RIHANNA, looking him deep in the eyes, smiles, bites her lip, moves her broken body up and starts passionately kissing him. CHRIS BROWN kisses her back and takes off her shirt and starts fondling her breasts. He stops kissing her and puts his fingers to his lips and looks at his fingers. "Ah! You got blood on my lips, you cunt!" He spits on her. She slowly falls back, exhausted and waiting for him to make a move. He leans down on top of her on the shoulder of the highway and starts kissing her again. He pulls off her bra and starts feeling her naked breasts. He puts his hand under her skirt, pulls her panties aside, and starts fingering her. She moans, because of the fingers in her vagina. But maybe because of the broken nose, elbow, or tailbone.
"We Found Love" comes on the car radio. It plays through the car's open window, the sound of the song mixing in with the highway background noise as CHRIS BROWN fingers RIHANNA on the side of the road, 16-wheelers occasionally passing by at a safe distance, the full moon shining bright over them on this warm, beautiful night.
CHRIS BROWN pulls out his penis and starts penetrating RIHANNA. He kisses her all over her neck. They both look up at the stars as they orgasm simultaneously.
CHRIS BROWN: "Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you so much."
She smiles and bites her lip, looking deep into his eyes again, her eyes sparkling. "I love you too."
A cloud momentarily passes over the moon. CHRIS BROWN jumps up and goes to his car. He grabs an empty Sun Chips bag, one of those really loud ones from a couple years ago. He comes back to RIHANNA, kneels over her, and starts crumpling and uncrumpling the bag right by her ear.
She starts screaming out. "AH! IT'S SO LOUD! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THAT SUN CHIPS BAG STO-HO-HOP!!!!" CHRIS continues moving the bag between his fingers. RIHANNA's ears start to bleed. She appears to be in pain and aroused.
Once the bag is cashed, like a sheet of bubble wrap which has had all of it's bubbles popped, or like a pop singer who has no more blood left to bleed or bones to break, he tosses it down, crumbs falling out onto the ground, kisses her on the forehead, and gets in his car. "I'll see you later, honey."
RIHANNA: "Bye, boo! Text me!"
CHRIS BROWN: "Whatever," he says as he puts the car in reverse and runs her over. He stops. "Just kidding. What are you up to on Thursday?"
RIHANNA: "I don't think I have any plans," she hoarsely whispers back.
CHRIS BROWN: "K, I'll MySpace message you then." He puts the car in drive, blows her a kiss, and drives forward, the car going over her body again. "Remember to check my Twitter pa—-" his voice fades out as he speeds off, the distance between them growing literally but not metaphorically.
RIHANNA lays on the gravel, it now red with her blood. She is unable to move practically anything but her left eye. She sighs, bruised, beaten, and sexually satisfied.
She looks up into the sky, her eyes falling onto the stars. The cloud moves away, and once again the full moon illuminates the night.
"Best. Valentine's. Day. Ever."
RIHANNA's eyes close.
FADE OUT