Male Enlargement Spam Prompts Penis Envy

Male Enlargement Ads Prompt Spam Rage

SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) — Call it spam rage: A Silicon Valley computer programmer has been arrested for threatening to torture and kill employees of the company he blames for bombarding his computer with Web ads promising to enlarge his penis.

Well what do you expect, the man already has a 13-inch Johnson. But seriously, enough with the popups, I'm feeling totally insecure!

In one of the first prosecutions of its kind in the state that made “road rage” famous, Charles Booher, 44, was arrested on Thursday and released on $75,000 bond for making repeated threats to staff of a Canadian company between May and July.

Jesus. Can you imagine the amount of penile enlargers he could have bought with that $75,000?  Certainly 13 inches isn't REALLY enough.

Booher threatened to send a “package full of Anthrax spores” to the company, to “disable” an employee with a bullet and torture him with a power drill and ice pick; and to hunt down and castrate the employees unless they removed him from their e- mail list, prosecutors said.

Psht, and they call that a threat?? Who among us hasn't threatened to kill a loved one with an ice pick and Anthrax spores. LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!

He used return e-mail addresses including Satan@hell.org.

Oh that's just low. Lock this man up, throw away the key, and report abused to the Hell.org administrator immediately.

In a telephone interview with Reuters on Friday, Booher acknowledged that he had behaved badly but said his computer had been rendered almost unusable for about two months by a barrage of pop-up advertising and e-mail.

Man, how cool is it to talk to Reuters. “Hello Booher? Yes, this is Reuters. [Booher talks] Ha ha ha, thank you, I also like my news tickers.  But let's get down to serious penis business shall we?”

“Here's what happened: I go to their Web site and start complaining to them, would you please, please, please stop bothering me,” he said. “It just sort of escalated …and I sort of lost my cool at that point.”

Lol. I like how the quote starts with “Here's what happened.” That usually gets omitted. BIG UPS TO YOU REUTERS! HARD HITTING FACTS INDEED.

The Sunnyvale, California man now faces up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine, with a preliminary hearing scheduled for next month on charges of threatening to injure someone. He said he did not own any guns or have access to anthrax.

Well then. Good luck owning up to your threats without “access to anthrax.” Find a real terrorist group, poser.

Booher said the problem stemmed from a program he mistakenly downloaded from the Internet that brought a continuous stream of advertising to his computer.

“Mistakenly” is also a synonym for “penis envy.”

The object of the Californian's anger was Douglas Mackay, president of DM Contact Management, which works for Albion Medical, a firm advertising the “Only Reliable, Medically Approved Penis Enhancement.”

Oh man. I love how there are reputable penis enhancers as well as phoney ones…heh heh….heh…so which ones are real…again?

“This went for a long, long time. He seemed really dedicated to this,” Mackay said from Victoria, British Columbia in Canada. “He seemed like a guy just crazy enough with nothing to lose that might actually do something.”

You mean like, actually end up using your products?  Because as I've already said, 13 inches is embarrassingly far below normal.

He said his firm does not send spam but blamed a rival firm which he said routes much of their unsolicited bulk e-mail through Russia and eastern Europe. Mackay said such firms gave a bad name to the penis enhancement business.

Agreed. Eastern European Companies constantly POOP on the good name that is Canadian Penis Enlargers.

In other cases, Internet vigilantes have bombarded spammers with both unsolicited e-mail and regular mail and phone calls, launched attacks on spammers' computers and posted spammers' personal information on the Internet, according to reports.

So wouldn't these so-called “vigilantes” in essence be spamming the spammers.  Because that would be totally wrong and harshly punishable by federal law.  See you in Hell, Booher!!