The Worst Kisser on the Planet
The first time I kissed Jake it was a bad idea. He was funny and nice , but kissing him led to the most painful word any girl could ever hear from a boy ever: "OUCH."
Tag: Lady Bits
7 Reasons Why Babies are the Worst (from a Mom)
Even though I gave birth to this thing, I still very much dislike babies. Before you consider littering this world with your awful spawn, here's why you'll regret it.
My First Time Shoplifting
I once finished out the second half of a soccer tournament in a stolen thong from Target. I'd never stolen anything in my life—anything with a price tag, that is.
Codie’s Super Important Guide to Becoming an Adult Person
I didn’t necessarily consider myself an adult when I walked onto that college campus, though I was far from a child. You could say I am a late bloomer.
How Childbirth Confers Wisdom Upon Mothers
Moms think they know everything, just because they pushed a creature out from between their thighs and stamped a name on it.
My First Day at Fat Camp
My biggest fear of fat camp was not getting a lunch, an occurrence that I had to witness daily at the Jillian Michaels' Center for Kids Who Eat Too Damn Much.
How to Lose a Girl in 10 Minutes
I've become quite an expert in the field of Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very, Very Bad Dates. Here's a list from my wonderful experiences to aid you all in this lovely world.
50 Things You Should Read That Are Not 50 Shades of Grey
Because I think the spread of knowledge is integral to a growing and thriving human race, I have compiled a list of 50 things you should read that are not "50 Shades of Grey."
Things I’ve Learned From Men Who’ve Dumped Me
Despite my affinity for getting drunk and watching Perry Mason when I get off work, I get dumped, a lot. I date idiots, a lot. I have life lessons to share, too!
Beyond Vaginas and Sarlaccs: Defining My Star Wars Love
At the impasse between dirty-minded average Jane and impassioned wannabe Jedi master, I volley from one side to the other, desiring both yet never feeling content in either.
What Women Learn From Lifetime TV
I have watched more made-for-TV movies revolving around domestic abuse, teenage pregnancies, extramarital affairs, and murderous jealous rampages than I care to admit.
You’re All I Ever Wanted, Baby
Among the many re-enactments my sisters and I would stage hourly, putting on concerts for the public was foremost. But that ended abruptly when we discovered boy bands.