Courting Disaster

Do you ever expect to get people to take your advice seriously after the kind of bullshit answers you post to the questions some people actually do have about everyday life?

How dare you! I don't post bullshit answers, I merely write them. COURT is the one who has wronged you, it's HIS blood you want.

If someone smells do you tell him? Or would you just let him find out on his own?

Telling him would just be awkward. If I were you, I'd just cough up the $1.50 and shove his ass in a washing machine. I'd say maybe 15 to 20 minutes on warm, then tumble dry low. Season to taste and serve with a chilled chardonnay.

I just got divorced after 17 years of marriage and this guy is heavily pursuing me. Is it now acceptable to have sex on the first date or some form of?

Things have changed a lot since last time you were on the dating scene. Nowadays, it's considered extremely impolite to not get pregnant on the first date. If you don't want to be ostracized from society, I'd get with the times, slut.

I'm from Australia. We've got universities ‘n such, but its not quite like the sororities I see in teen movies. Is TV lying to me?

No!! No, no, no. NO. ….Well, yes. But just because college girls aren't having drunken lesbian orgies doesn't mean we aren't crawling with disease. Give us a little credit.