>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
July 21, 2004
Dear Nicole,
I just graduated from college, so should I join the military, or find a job? Should I keep my girlfriend? Should I make my friend's dream of becoming famous ring true? Should I learn drums or bass? Should I join the Peace Corp? Is there a War Corp? Or how about a Sex Corp? That would be nice. Any help here would be appreciated.
-Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I have an even BETTER idea: Maybe you should SHUT THE HELL UP. I mean…uh…just follow your dreams, or whatever.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
My girlfriend constantly bitches at me for supposedly cheating. WITH BOYS! Now I'm a full on lesbian! How can I convince her I only want her twat?
-Megan
Dear Megan,
Prove to her that you've been faithful by presenting her with a clean bill of health from the Cootie Clinic.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
Are you hot?
-Matthew
Dear Matthew,
For the last time, NO.
Sincerely,
Nicole